Drained of energy and the ability to cope with the mess and chaos of life, this feels like an excellent night to go to bed early with The Safehouse and forget the world.  I can hold the book and let the recordings read it to me while the insanity of the world carries on obliviously. Leave me alone, life.

It can't all be sunshine and poetry.

It's been a sucky month.  Yeah, pretty much the whole thing.  I'm tired.   I'm drained.  I can't find my way to the forest, or to Brego, or to any of my happy retreats.  The places i go to when i can steal a free moment to think and wander and escape... are lost to me.

Every single day takes so much out of me that i feel like an empty shell, a hollow shadow of what once was.  It isn't true, of course.  The inside is alive and swirling with turbulent thoughts and feelings and dreams and fears that never slow down, never stop, always rush and whirl and shift.  The shell is just the semblance of normalcy i try to show to others, for no one really wants inside.  No one can handle it.  It's dizzying, tiring, sickening to be ensconced in such tribulation.  Trust me; i understand.

Go ahead.  Really.  Please!  Just move on from the spectacle and don't feel bad for not being able to take it. I've got quite enough to deal with on my own at the moment, and i'm too weary to deal with comforting you for not being able to handle me.  Just let me hide alone in the dark until it gets better.

I'll be okay.

Balm for a wounded heart...

The sweet tenderness, expressed unintentionally through genuine heartfelt affection, which shines on the faces of those who love me, has the power to boost me from the depths of sorrow.  When those around you offer stereotypical concern, it is to no avail.  But when someone who isn't trying to is caught with a sincere look of adoration on their precious face, the affect is soothingly healing.  Bless you, my friend.  <3